APOLOGIES AND APOLOGETIX

So.. once again I've kind of dropped the ball known as the blog. I apologize most sincerely. I have been busy with final projects.. and now exam studying.. but I'm taking a break to write this.
The last month has been interesting... filled with bizarre experiences, art, science, community (and lackthereof), economic struggle, and the general struggles of humanity. and God. Not really in that order, although sometimes it feels that way.

A few weeks ago I had a discussion with an atheist about God and spirituality. I hate to admit that this "us and them" mentality was beginning to take its toll on me and it took an awkward conversation to begin the breakdown of what I've begun to think of as "the great wall of Christianity." yuck.
I think that for a lot of us (growing up in North American culture) god seems like a no-brainer.. I mean, of course there's a god.. what he does and how he does it are debatable.. but ya, there's a higher power. It's easy to discuss God with anyone who's a theist, deist, or even agnostic.
So atheism.. well, possibly one of the best conversations I've had all year was with this girl. It's already become apparent to me that the field of cognitive science is one of the most difficult fields to be a Christian in. That is to say, my beliefs were already being significantly challenged... making me feel all the more longing to hide behind that ridiculous Christian wall.
So our conversation began. It could've ended within seconds I think. She said, "God doesn't exist so why would I want to fake it?"
I said, "You wouldn't."
But we talked for longer.. talking about why people believe in God and the possibility of humans creating God as a way to answer all the unanswerable questions. Unfortunately I think her arguments were more convincing than mine.. especially when I didn't actually argue. I mean, I wasn't there to debate. I was intrigued.
It got me thinking (yay!) I thought, "why do I believe in God?" I've often asked myself, "what do I believe about God?" and "what is the purpose of life?" but, taking away my Christian background.. and supposing that I was not raised in a Christian home.. would I believe in God? During the last two weeks, I came up with two reasons why I believe that God exists.. also why I believe the bible is "God-breathed" .. as it also seemed to make sense.
So, since I don't want to write a novel here.. my next two blogs will be my two reasons or "proofs" (I use that word lightly as I don't think God can actually be humanly proven) pertaining to the existence of God. They are personal reasons. You will likely not find them convincing.. however.. I don't want to convince you.
So..
Until we meet again,
-E